Home » How I Work with Couples » Are you considering Divorce?

Discernment Counseling

Before making a final decision, with long-term consequences for yourself and a wide range of people in your couple-life, consider discernment counseling in a safe, judgment-free space. Unlike couples therapy, the goal of Discernment Counseling is not to solve your marital problems but to agree on a path forward that is best for you and your family. Our work together achieves clarity in a non-adversarial, respectful manner. Every session starts and ends with both partners and includes significant one-on-one time for each person with the therapist.

Principles for Discernment Counseling:

  • Life-long commitment is especially difficult in today’s throwaway culture.
  • Children have an important stake in the health and endurance of their parent’s relationship.
  • Commitment brings obligations to work on a troubled relationship before giving up.

Principles of Healing in Therapy:

  • Most troubled relationships can be restored to health if both partners dedicate themselves to making that happen. The first stance of the discernment therapist is to help couples see if the path to healing is possible for them.
  • Relationships have other stakeholders, especially children.
  • Love and fairness must go hand in hand, healing a relationship must not come at the expense of one of the partners.

Principles on Divorce:

  • Some divorces are necessary in order to prevent further harm in a destructive relationship.
  • Some divorces are unavoidable because one party chooses the divorce path against the wishes of their spouse.
  • When clients choose to divorce, therapists have a responsibility to provide additional resources, including divorce professionals who can facilitate a fair and healing divorce process.